Moaning and Groaning

One of my children (he shall remain unnamed) is the child who, when he doesn’t get his way (even though he doesn’t often know what “his way” would be) moans and groans, cries and makes noises that you might expect to hear if it were the dark of night and you were in the home of a parent who had recently lost his or her child.  And, as many of you may know, such behavior and unseemly noises are incredibly frustrating, annoying, and generally madness driving, giving rise to the making of similar noises, or worse. 

So, rather than just get angry with, yell at, and go to my wit’s end (literally), I have been (sadly) trying something new:  praying about this conduct in my son.  “Why, Lord, does he do that?”  I ask in a tone that doesn’t sound like a prayer to an all-powerful and all-loving Father.  “Well,” says God, “you too often sound like that in my ear, in fact, you sound a little bit like it now as you fret about your son not doing things your way.” 

Crickets.  (That’s all you would hear if you were overhearing my conversation with God because I could think of nothing to say in response.)

God eventually added to my understanding as I sat in reticent silence, “Sometimes when such moaning and groaning occurs, even well past the time when one is actually ‘sad’ or feeling emotions about an event or a loss, it is because you enjoy hearing yourself communicate more than you like to listen, even when what you are communicating is about as useful, loving and intelligent as a communication to one’s spouse that he or she is the stupidest person alive or when the communication sounds like a pregnant deer having her first faun.  You also often want others to hear your words and feelings more than you want to be communicated to.”  God really does have a way to get to my heart. 

I see more and more every day I often cry out for attention and for impact in my world because at my foundation I fear most that I have no meaning or value (even though God loves me!).

And, with the continuing cacophony of crickets (“symphony” would be better, as I don’t think of the noise of crickets as discordant, but i liked the alliteration) as God took a breath (or waited to see if things were soaking into this frail mind), he then, of course, again reminded me:  “You are often just like that.”  Deep breath.. 

To the praise of His excellent grace, mercy, love and kindness, He then said:

[T]hose who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.^  And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

May God give me the grace to love my child as much as He loves me and may all my moaning and groaning be turned into praise for a loving Father.  He’s my Daddy (Abba Father), ya know.. and I’m proud of that.  I’m glad He loves me.  And He loves you, too. 

And, now I see two of the reasons my unnamed child does this moaning and groaning (an answer to my prayer):  (1) I do it (and thus model it) and (2) God is using my child in my life to teach me yet another way I can become more like Him and less like me.