Wisdom from Tara

My wife, Tara, who hates typing and really isn’t much for sitting at the computer, can’t imagine what I enjoy about blogging.  But, in her graciousness, she generally allows me the opportunity to spend some time doing it.  Whereas it is hard for me to convince her to sit and write a post, I definitely think that her wisdom is worthy of your time and attention.  Thus, when I came across her written notes for a talk she is going to be having tomorrow at a gathering of moms, I knew I had to put an excerpt of it here.

She writes: 

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in your daily routine?  Do you feel like the only thing you can do is make it through each day with your kids?  Are your thoughts perpetually stuck on your laundry, your sick child, what to cook for dinner, whether one of your kids has only eaten crackers all day long, who is your husband eating lunch with today, what is he eating while you eat the crusts from your kids lunch and have no time for anything else, why didn’t he pick up his phone, your lot in life? Will you evermore be cleaning up spills, bottoms, throw-up and tears?

For the longest time I was very frustrated with my life, but I never could put my finger on the source of my frustration.  I all too often settled for believing the source was my disobedient children or my other disobedient kid, my husband.  But as God began showing me a little more of His vision for me, I realized that I was wrong about the source of the problem.

I found myself saying to my kids “give to others, share your toys, be kind to people, reach out to new people, and so on ad nauseum.”  I desperately wanted them to do this and so I preached and I preached as my frustration increased when I saw them obeying inconsistently at best.  I first blamed Bryan because “he wasn’t modeling it.”  But God began opening my eyes to the fact that I wasn’t modeling any of it either even though I deeply believed that serving others was what life was about.  And, I slowly realized that my frustration was with me, talking about serving others and not doing it. 

Satan had me believe a lie that he whispered over and over – “you are doing the best you can to make it through the day – your husband isn’t home, your kids are often sick, you have a job, your house to clean, kids to feed – what more can anyone expect you to do?  You do plenty just making sure your kids don’t just eat candy all day long.”  He had me believing that I was great, everyone else had the problems, and I really didn’t need any help…I was doing the best I could and the best I could hope for.  Thus, there was no reason to pray and ask God for help (it was as good as it gets), and I knew nobody else would help me.

So, how do you get out of this way of thinking and living?  Hebrews 12:2 is a great place to start.  We must fix our eyes on Jesus, not ourselves, and only then can we serve Him out of love that overflows from our heart.  We will begin to live and do because we love Jesus, not because we love ourselves. 

God, through His Holy Spirit, had to gently correct a few things in my life.  First, I had to stop blaming everyone and everything else for my lot in life.  I had to take it seriously when God says it’s His will that I be thankful in everything.  1 Thessalonians 5:17.  Second, I had to humble myself and stop thinking I was doing great – that is, the best that I could.  Third, I had to change my focus from all my problems and the problem people in my life to a focus that fixed my eyes on Jesus. 

She plans to help the moms think about and discuss practical ways to teach giving, servanthood, and living our faith to their children.  She will likely talk about taking the God given passions and talents we have and making them fit into our daily routine in a way that impacts others’ lives and also sets examples for our kids.  Do you have some examples?  I’d love it if some of my readers would give me examples here that I can share with her for her talk.  So?  Any suggestions? 

The picture below is an example of Tara’s passions at work.  She was blessed to participate in the birth of Tiana Kok, first child of Paul and Marie Noelle Kok, as an unofficial doula, and enjoys sharing her experiences from having had three kids with other moms and moms to be.